Internet Technology Follies

I have been thinking of doing THIS THING since the start of COVID-19 pandemic.

What is THIS THING that I want to do?

I want to track how utterly incompetent IT actually is. How often it actually fails. How utterly idiotic are many of its security requirements. How many of the "cures" for IT issues are comparable "chicken noodle soup" remedies passed on by our grandmothers. How it masquerades as the essential connector and facilitator of the 21st century, but how it is really still in the stone age. 

When you think of IT, do not think of the Bethesda Medical Institute. Think of witch doctors prescribing bleeding by leech, or a range of herbal remedies for things like cancer or broken bones.

They don't want you to know this...

IT is in the Middle Ages when it comes to the technology. This fact is camouflaged behind the knowledge that we, the users, don't understand the technology.  If we did, we would stand back aghast at the idiocy and incompetence set out before us.

Let's start...you will see a daily log of IT issues below.

September 19, 2024.

Issue #1: I work in a secure building, on a secure laptop, using secure internet supplied to service the same secure building. I arrived at work, and tried to log into the secure internet system using the secure laptop. I provided my two different passwords, via two different access portals. The passwords were accepted. Then I got this message, which is a message I get about half the time I try to log in...

"Login denied. You have hit the DlftAccessPolicy - Connection terminated."

Why was my access denied? The notice doesn't explain. When you call IT services, what do you think they say? Well, I think we all know what they say, now don't we...

"Have you tried shutting your computer off and starting again?"

Translation...

"Have you tried wormwood root for your tummy ache, or maybe a lavender enema?"

Reality - they don't know what is wrong. They have no clue. 

Emperor IT is walking down the road. Have you noticed that he is naked?

Issue #2: I was just asked to approve something in the internal IT system where I work. To do that, you need to log in via the Internet. The internal site will not function on Microsoft Edge. It will only work on Google.  

The place I work has hundreds of thousands of employees, and a budget of hundreds of billions of dollars. And yet, it's internal approvals system does not work on one of the world's top internet service platforms.  

You can't make this shit up.