Canada as the 51st State!

Trump has stated that he wants Canada to become the 51st state, and that he'll bring that about through economic rather than military means.  

What might that mean?

First and foremost, we would have to try to prevent everyone in Quebec from moving to Florida for half of the year! They love Florida, and should there no longer be a border, they might just get in their cars and off they go! "Vive le Québec, sud!"

Joining the USA might also mean an invasion of IHOPs into Canada. The International House Of Pancakes is a particular favourite of the board of mewetree.blogspot.com! The prospect of getting eight delicious blueberry pancakes for breakfast, where we would normally only get two or three, might just be a game-changer! Do not underestimate the power of American cuisine to unify the world!

One other incentive need mentioning - Football! 

Canada would presumably get one or two NFL teams if we became Americans.  Maybe one in Toronto and one in Montreal? Canadians already love the NFL!! We say, bring it on and their drunken tailgate parties with them!!

And of course, GUNS! Lots and lots of GUNS!

The very restrictive gun laws in Canada could not survive a Second Amendment challenge. We would have to get used to gun-toting Canadians, and shooting ranges dotting the landscape. Hey! "Guns don't kill people; people kill people...with guns!" Driving will become so much more interesting knowing everyone has a handgun in their glove compartment!

But wait, there's more!

How about a "Trial of the Century" every three years?! When we had the Patriation Reference, the Americans had the OJ Trial! 

WTF!? 

Soon, Mangione will be before the courts, and who knows how many Democrats Trump will go after?! No longer will we have to watch, envious on the side lines, as American celebrate the next perversion of justice! Soon, they may be our own perversions as well!

"If the glove don't fit, Canada must be quit!"

And we also get celebrity chaos! 

Americans love their celebrities, especially when they get to feel superior while reflecting on celebrities who are nuts and who live totally chaotic lives! Step aside Mitsou; say hello to Kim Kardashian! 

Who is Mitsou, you ask? Exactly! 

Can you see it..."The Hockey Wives of Toronto" coming to a tv screen near you, soon! Huzzah! OMG! How about "Survivor - Canmore!" We can't wait!

Finally, we will lose "Peace, Order and Good Government", which are Canada's key constitutional slogans, for the "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness" of America which has spawned a nation of morbidly obese citizens; the highest incarcerate rates in the world; and for whom a trainer park contains one's sacrosanct castle, legally protected from government interlopers. 

OMG! Slavery and involuntary servitude are still technically legal in the USA under the Thirteen Amendment! 

What a country!

What would Americans get from Canada?

French! There is no way the Quebecois will quietly into the American melting pot! Americans can expect a gut-wrenching constitutional crisis about every ten years as Quebec tries to blackmail an entire continent with threats of becoming independent. No doubt, America will accede to their every demand rather than do anything like invade to prevent any such separation from happening. It's not like they have ever faced a crisis like this before.

Poutine and Nanaimo bars!! Combine Quebec's delicious culinary delight as a main course, and add British Columbia's fantastic dessert bar, and you something petty close to perfect! Do Americans like calories? A dinner-size serving of Poutine will net you over 1,000 calories!  Add a Nanaimo bar for dessert, and you are looking at another 300 calories! Eat the whole thing twice and you are looking at over 2,500 calories at one meal! Fabulous!

What could we accomplish, together?

How about a Tim's and Dunkin' Donuts merge! 

Tim Horton's is already in the USA. Dunkin' Donuts was in Canada for some time, but Tim's basically wiped them out. With the union of the two countries, these iconic coffee shops will also merge. Can you say Dunkin' Tim's? 

Now, who wants to tell King Charles III that he just lost another former British possession?

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