Conspiracies and Theories You Haven't of Heard Yet!

The trifecta of blogs on conspiracy theories ends with my own take on hitherto unheard of conspiracies.

1. Michael and La Toya Jackson were the same person.  Hard to believe, but La Toya was Michael's feminine side in drag form. These two were never seen together, because they were only one person. Since Michael sadly passed away, no one has seen La Toya since.  The reason is simple.  She never existed.







See!

2. The Internet is a Fad.  It will pass in another few months.  Yes, for all is was supposed to be, the Internet ended up being a mass  of irrelevant and irritating e-mail, and porn.  We Humans will soon take a long hard look at this phenomena, and realize that it was not worth the effort.  The end will start this Christmas when, like Disco and the Pet Rock before it, the Internet will simply go out fashion.

Where are they now???

3. McDonalds makes everything out of the same substance which was developed by Ray Kroc, who was really a molecular biologist by trade.  Everything at McD's is made out of McMix.  Ray Kroc discovered that there was a substance in the bowels of cows that could be made into anything if only the right sound were applied.  Have you ever heard the buzzes and whistles behind the counter at McDonalds? With one McBuzz, "blam!" there is a bag of fries!  With another McBell, and "whop"! there is a Big Mac. A third McWhistle, and "whish"! there is a new McWorker. A fourth McBleep, and voila there is a new chair. Every sound is a new McItem. McKroc was a genius!




4. John Lennon and Yoko Ono, and John McEnroe and Tatum O'Neil all suffer from "Married Myself Disease".  The aforementioned persons all married someone who looks surprisingly like them! This is the result of a narcissistic disease known as "Married Myself Disease" which afflicts persons who so love themselves that they can't fathom marrying anyone but themselves. Welcome to the "Self-Love-in"!





5. Castro has been dead for 11 years, and is a Vampire.  Castro has not been seen during the day in years.  When he does appear, it is always with a red stain on his beard...sometimes looking decades younger than he did the evening before.  His only state visit in the last decade was to Transylvania.



6. Hitler only had one testicle and was a vegetarian. This is true.  I have to end my discussion with something about Hitler.  Well, this is it...he was a uni-testicular veggie-muncher.